Chance

Do you know someone who has had too many chances of putting things right but has continuously declined to? Someone who doesn't let go of the pride holding him/her back.

My mom has been guild tripping me to reunite with someone like this. I can see that she wants to make things better before it's too late.

She doesn't understand that this person has contributed absolutely nothing to our relationship since donkey's years ago.

I sometimes wonder if I will regret blocking this person when he is gone. I wonder if I should let go of all the things that were said and done. I wonder if things would be better and forgotten.

But when I have swallowed my pride and put the cat on the table myself and only got pathetic answers in return, do I really want this person in my life? Everyone gets a chance, most people get two but this person has continuously ignored or laughed at this situation. Why would I bother?

Why should I be the adult when he has had so much more time to act like one?

The annual fashion observation post

I'm not big into following fashion and trends. Whenever I see something I like, trendy or not, or when I need something I buy it. My outfits could be described as conservative.

I also don't really care what my friends/boyfriend wear(s). I do admire people who look really nice and use the proper accessories etc but I really could not be bothered to spend more than 3 minutes each morning picking up different outfits. Call me boring, I don't care.

There are however certain things that just make me gag. Some of these things only annoy me if the person in question is my partner, some of them are universal.

Guys:

1. If you are not fifty, please don't dress like one. I went out with a guy who probably would have been thrilled to inherit my dad's wardrobe.

2. Smart casual. Guys wearing a V-neck sweater and a shirt when they are not working. Immediately makes me think that they have no personality and that they let their moms/girlfriends dress them up.

3. Cliche outfits. Emos wearing nothing but Deftones t-shirts, black pants and black make-up. The reason: no matter how quirky they might look, they often lack in personality.

4. Groomed men. Men need to be a bit scruffy, a bit masculine. Someone who spends more time getting ready in the morning than I do, has a serious problem.

5. Camp straight guys. It's confusing (are they gay or what??!!) and it just looks fucking ridiculous.

6. Designer obsessed. I don't give a shit what it says in your shirt. Shows a great deal of superficiality. Laughable.

7. Tracksuits, sports gear. If you are not doing any sports or lazying around at home, why wear shit like that? Also for all the scum bags out there: wearing a cap only halfway makes you look stupid and the greasy hair peeking out makes me want to vomit.

Girls

1. Wonder why guys think you are a slapper? Wearing a gold minidress with stripper shoes might be a clue to this big mystery. Although the no.7 in guys section will absolutely LOVE you. Often accompanied with so much make-up no one would recognise you if you went out without

2. Fashion freaks. Every now and then the fashion designers really get it wrong. Why do you follow blindly? Indicates a lack of personality and opinion.

3. Cliche outfits. As with guys.

4. Princesses. Wearing pink is ok. Wearing cream cake skirts with tiaras etc makes you look like a fucking 12 year old. Don't expect anyone proper to ever talk to you.

5. The "I don't give a shit"-look. People who try to be casual about their clothes but anyone can see they got up at 5am to make it "just perfect".

A Bad Day

Seeing as no one is listening:

FUCK

Spending spree vs. penny pinching

I was reading a blog written by a Finnish guy who used to live in Ireland. He wrote a lot about country image and marketing but also how different countries have different mentalities. (And of course I forgot where this blog may be)

Even though I dislike a lot of the things about the Finnish way of living, I do miss the penny-pinching ideology in a way. It enables the creation of so many new ideas and even though I have done my share of turning old things to new, more useful items, I admire the recycled master pieces some of my fellow Finns keep making.

In Ireland this sort of culture is pretty minimal. Only now (with the recession) people are turning back towards 'tuning' new things from old, second hand shops and creating their own clothes, art and groceries. But still I often get an odd look if I knit on the bus. As often I get people pointing out to me how rare the skill is that I possess.

On my spending spree wish list

There is a downside to this Finnish way though. Every time I go home I get annoyed with people taking the penny-pinching to the max and refuse to (even on special occasions) let go of their habits. I dislike the way my friends, even the ones who work full-time, buy a cheap bottle of wine to drink before going out and then when we enter a pub, keep drinking ice water for the rest of the night. Finns really are gods of ruining the buzz.

I myself seem to be balancing between these two things. On one hand I hate the Irish way of wasting things (food being the prime example) but I also hate the fact that my well off relatives find it impossible to enjoy the fruits of their hard work.

My attempt in crafts

P.S: I want to make LP bracelets and prints next!

Confessions

I was tagged and I'm bored

5 things you might have not known about me:


1. I dislike Finland and most Finnish people, yet I am glad I'm not Irish and proud of some of my Finnish traits.

2. The idea of there not being a superior being/after life makes me happy

3. I use to wear glasses (many many moons ago)

4. Most of my family members are highly spiritual/religious but I am not

5. My father and my doctor were convinced that I had an eating disorder... and HONESTLY I didn't...great excuse for eating more ice cream!

The Truth

This thing was inspired by a competition one of my family members was holding. The task was to write about our great grandmother who would have been hundred years old this month and then other family members would vote for the best.

My input was obviously too unflattering to ever end up on the webpage. But censorship only reaches out to the domains they own…

I’m way too young to remember my great grandmother; in fact I think she passed away several years before I was even thought about. Hence I can only imagine what she was like; put together with the little information I have been told over the years.

My great grandmother was a hardworking and traditional Finnish housewife. On top of her numerous children, she also adopted an orphan ignoring the fact that she was struggling to feed her own, let alone someone else’s kids. She married my great grandfather, who was born blind and remained so for all of his life. These facts seem to suggest that she was a loving and sympathetic woman who extended her love for those who had nothing.

While she probably kept the family together with a padded version of an iron fist, not much can be said about the people who were supposed to continue her legacy. If she was ever to return to see how we were getting on, she would be utterly appalled.

While most people have managed to break out from poverty and the constant worry over money, few have found themselves carrying on any of her sympathy. The large family she left behind and which kept extending long after she had passed away has disintegrated.

“What do you mean?” I hear the loudest crying out now. And yes, I am dying to give you some very cruel details of people doing horrible things to others in this family but I will most likely be excommunicated. I too am as greedy and soulless that I want to keep that very weak thread around our petty family, for my inheritance sake.

But without going into TOO much detail I can point out the things that are laid right before your eyes. For years, one of the oldest members of this family has been completely ignored. This seems to be due to a certain problem she has. Her direct family can’t seem to put up with her behaviour. Fair enough. However if they had bothered to investigate this matter a little closer, they would have found that her problems are directly linked to loneliness and the fact that no one seems to go over and visit.

These people who quietly judge her behaviour have in the mean time extended their “give hassle and I’m gone”-attitude to their children. With few exceptions, we find ourselves looking at people who have literally abandoned their offspring due failed marriages and teenage trouble. Some of these people have moved on and accepted that their parents have emotionally discontinued the relationship; some have crept through the darkest holes and fortunately found some new people to rely on.

There will be a time when we all get old and when everyone else has passed away. It is then when the spark for reviving these broken strings comes back to life. And that is when you find that you are the despised, lonely and troubled person you had ignored for most of your adult life. And believe me, no one is coming to save you.

No News for Now

Selected friends can check out the Toast coverage. Apart from that it's nada