Showing posts with label photos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label photos. Show all posts

Sunday 22 March 2009

Too fast


Maybe it's the simple life that makes one happy

I've finally admitted my problem of not being able to sit down. Don't get me wrong, I can sit down doing nothing for a whole day but I seem to be unable to relax or leave the worries/tasks/important stuff aside. I keep waking up at ridiculous hours and can't unwind and get back to sleep. I also find it very hard to fall asleep and often stay up half of the night. This inevitably leads to worries etc becoming even more painful in my head.

Everything seems to be on standby. Problems X, Y and Z will be resolved after I've sorted out A, B and C or when N months have passed. The only way I can keep myself sane these days is just telling myself, it'll all be ok when X,Y...

I know I should probably let some of the steam out and talk to someone but even the little bit I do, makes me feel like a piece of shit. I hate being this way when I'm around friends/loved ones. I have enough alone time to be miserable and anxious, why do I have to waste good time for stupid worries. On some days I feel like I'm gonna crack or start to cry for no reason (that could be hormonal too though) but I still feel talking is a waste of time. It never helped before or it doesn't last very long.

It's silly but I even feel stupid about moaning here time after time but I guess it's my blog and I do wahtever the hell I want with it.

It'll all be ok. I hope.

Tuesday 30 December 2008

I've been brainwashed!


the Christmas lights of the circus town


After my trip to Finland I have

  • seriously considered colouring my hair darker and getting some crazy hair cut
  • thought about buying an account on a webpage that streams Finnish TV-shows
  • rediscovered some Finnish music and films I used to love
  • understood the true meaning of the word honesty
  • remembered how it feels like to be really close to someone
  • ate nothing but rye bread with some crazy cream cheese on it
  • realised how different I am now than I was when I left Finland...
...and it makes me wonder if I was able to live there again some day.