The annual fashion observation post

I'm not big into following fashion and trends. Whenever I see something I like, trendy or not, or when I need something I buy it. My outfits could be described as conservative.

I also don't really care what my friends/boyfriend wear(s). I do admire people who look really nice and use the proper accessories etc but I really could not be bothered to spend more than 3 minutes each morning picking up different outfits. Call me boring, I don't care.

There are however certain things that just make me gag. Some of these things only annoy me if the person in question is my partner, some of them are universal.

Guys:

1. If you are not fifty, please don't dress like one. I went out with a guy who probably would have been thrilled to inherit my dad's wardrobe.

2. Smart casual. Guys wearing a V-neck sweater and a shirt when they are not working. Immediately makes me think that they have no personality and that they let their moms/girlfriends dress them up.

3. Cliche outfits. Emos wearing nothing but Deftones t-shirts, black pants and black make-up. The reason: no matter how quirky they might look, they often lack in personality.

4. Groomed men. Men need to be a bit scruffy, a bit masculine. Someone who spends more time getting ready in the morning than I do, has a serious problem.

5. Camp straight guys. It's confusing (are they gay or what??!!) and it just looks fucking ridiculous.

6. Designer obsessed. I don't give a shit what it says in your shirt. Shows a great deal of superficiality. Laughable.

7. Tracksuits, sports gear. If you are not doing any sports or lazying around at home, why wear shit like that? Also for all the scum bags out there: wearing a cap only halfway makes you look stupid and the greasy hair peeking out makes me want to vomit.

Girls

1. Wonder why guys think you are a slapper? Wearing a gold minidress with stripper shoes might be a clue to this big mystery. Although the no.7 in guys section will absolutely LOVE you. Often accompanied with so much make-up no one would recognise you if you went out without

2. Fashion freaks. Every now and then the fashion designers really get it wrong. Why do you follow blindly? Indicates a lack of personality and opinion.

3. Cliche outfits. As with guys.

4. Princesses. Wearing pink is ok. Wearing cream cake skirts with tiaras etc makes you look like a fucking 12 year old. Don't expect anyone proper to ever talk to you.

5. The "I don't give a shit"-look. People who try to be casual about their clothes but anyone can see they got up at 5am to make it "just perfect".