Brainstorm spare time

Love the photo, credits to Nisha, link to her other stuff on the side too ->

Facebook can be an evil nostalgia raising monster. Scrolling through the profiles of old class mates, spying what they're up to these days. Came across on of the girls' profiles who was in the same class with me in Junior High. Her last name had changed and the profile was full of wedding photos and what not.

The immediate reaction was 'eek!' The second reaction was pretty much losing all respect for her sensible side. And then I started to wonder.

Another conversation popped into my head. On one occassion I grossly categorized people in to two groups: the ones who do the socially acceptable and desired thing (marriage, mortgage, children), the ones who can't seem to fit into these standards (stay single, don't want kids, live like they were 20 all their lives).

I immediately put her into the former. The cynical being I am, I also stripped her off of any sense or reasoning and doomed her to have a nasty divorce in no time. Nothing personal like, I just think it's stupid to get married for any other than tax or visa reasons, let alone get married when you're in your early twenties. Also, as it has happened so many times, sometimes, as time goes by, these people discover something that this other group has known all along. Maybe this really isn't the thing for me? Maybe I should just cut this social etiquette crap and do what I really want all the time.

In the midst of all this, the girl's imaginary response to my argument enters my thinking. "Some day you'll just want to settle down and have a nice life with someone, who will have you then when you've rejected so many?". For about a minute I actually feel moderately worried about that. Then I remember that I'm only young and anyone I ever spent a little bit of together time with, I would never want to marry or settle down with. I'd rather be alone than put up with their shit every day.

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I sometimes think my mother worries about me being left alone. It also seems as if she thought I hadn't given the past relationships my everything and that I should have tried harder. She'd by no means want me to get married right now but sometimes I think her biological clock is ticking too, for the grand children. She enquired about the reasons as to why the last relationship ended. I think I gave her pretty valid reasons and came across as someone who had thought about it for a long while before the actual decision.

At first she seemed a bit confused. She didn't seem to understand the reason why I couldn't stay with this nice bloke, who just happened to piss me off so much every time I saw him. Who had been false. Who treated me like I was a child. She started this bull shit about having to put up with the bad sides of a person as well as the good ones. I told her there wasn't really any good ones there and that she'd hardly stay in a situation like that herself if she felt betrayed and undermined all the time. She said nothing. I guess I hit the right spot.

Funnily enough, someone who I at one stage thought I would marry some day (and have since changed my mind, hahah!), is having issues of similar sort. His girlfriend though, does not make him feel sick on a constant basis but he's very set in his ways and is finding it hard to find the common grounds and compromises because of it.

Maybe I'm not alone. Maybe if everything else fails, I should marry him, so we could be socially unacceptable together. Hahah!


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This is totally the best time to think about things like that.